Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
My apartment stinks of burning failure
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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