i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
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