Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
