omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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