I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
