i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
