"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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