Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
