you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
