My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
