my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
