it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
My hand turned me down
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
