I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
