She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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