it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
