Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Randomize
