I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize