I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
