are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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