hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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