the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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