Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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