you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
