I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Come share oat with me in your robe
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
