is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
