Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize