she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
