he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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