Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
