Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
