yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize