I am puke
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
either way he was missing a nipple.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I can't turn off my feet"
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
