If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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