just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Randomize
