You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
