my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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