What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
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