Is it normal to miss your booty call?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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