i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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