I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
