I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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