We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
