ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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