i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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