It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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