Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Randomize
