After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
no, he came in my armpit
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize