"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
