my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
