I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
then he tried to convert me to islam
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
