Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
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