Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
