i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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