Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
