Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
The adults are the big ones right?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
