508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
