you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
