she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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