That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
i want to swaddle you in tequila
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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