They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
